Friday, January 1, 2010

The obligatory New Year's post

So it's a new year, yay us!

I am very excited about the upcoming year. I know it's going to be a good one professionally and personally. Not in the same way I've 'known' it's going to be a good one for the past few years, and it's (the feeling) just fizzled by february. This is different. Call it getting older, wiser, feeling more comfortable with who you are...whatever. I just know it's going to be the BEST year ever!

Professionally, I think I've learned to let go of worrying about what I think I'm 'supposed' to be doing, and just following what I want to do. I think I've reached a point where I'm giving myself permission to follow my heart, passion whatever, instead of what I think will make me some money (that never works...for me anyway). I've realized that it's okay to be broke, because broke is temporary, but poor is a state of mind that lasts forever.

I've always known that I could never do a regular 9-5 job, not that there is anything wrong with that. I feel terrible admitting this publicly because I know billions of people do it everyday. My dear sweet husband does it everyday without complaint. He says he's fine doing a job that's not necessarily his dream because he has things that fulfill him outside of that job. I'm not like that. For me, a 9-5 is like a slow death (at least the jobs I've had, which are really kind of the bottom of the barrel.) I know I'm very fortunate to be married to someone who lets me be me...who goes to work everyday without putting pressure on me to earn an income. In fact any pressure I've ever experienced about that has come directly from myself. Never mind that I earn my keep around here with all that I do being at home. I still feel this nagging urge to contribute financially, which is (partly) what's led me down the path of entrepreneurship. I've always been trying to work for myself for as long as I can remember because I just can't stand the thought of building someone else's empire while breaking my back for peanuts. I fell for a lot of work at home schemes along the way, but I guess that may be par for the course.

My most recent job, a seasonal part time job just ended, and I couldn't be happier. I feel like that job (for a lot of reasons) took me away from what I want to accomplish in my life. The only thing that got me through and kept me from quitting was knowing it was temporary. At that job I watched people sweating every little detail because their very livelihood depends on it. It made me sad to watch these people with families spend 10, sometimes 14 hours a day at at his call center. I would often ask them when they see their kids. This lady who sat next to me told me that she sees her kids just long enough to feed them dinner and get them started on homework. Everyday. Until the weekend (which by the way you are obligated to work one of those weekend days.) This sucks. Bigtime. Even though this was a sh*t job, is it really any different from a high-powered corporate gig? Nope. In fact the higher you go on that ladder, the more your obligation and time commitment.

Please don't get me wrong. I know that business ownership is NOT for everyone. I also know that having your own business takes just as high a level of commitment. I just know that it's where I prefer to be.

I know that I'm very blessed to have the skills and talents that I have. I realized today that it is my obligation to share these gifts and talents with others. I will find a way to do this in 2010.

Anyway, like I was saying before I got on a tangent. I'm a little older, wiser and more comfortable in my skin and I think I'm finally able to let go of certain things that have held me back in my quest for successful business ownership.

Aww drat. This was supposed to be a post about my plans for Taiwo in 2010, but I guess that will wait till tommorrow.


Shonda said...

This post made me smile...I needed to hear exactly what you said!!!! Thanks so much for opening my own eyes, as I am doing the same thing you are and beat myself up over it every day! I have goals and a huge list of what I want to accomplish in 2010 and today is the day I am starting lol I will be emailing you though as I go along and find things that are useful to you and look forward to hopefully seeing you at more shows this year!

Blessings in 2010,
Shonda (Kreative Storybooking)

Michelle said...

Wow, are we really soul mates in the craft industry or what? I have been feeling the same way as you for years! That's why this year I have decided to go full speed ahead. we are very fortunate to have husbands to allow us to stay home with the children while persuing our dreamms. That's why I turned to you as my graphic designer because I know you will put all your heart and soul into the creation. After all it is the love for the craft. Thanks for making me feel like I'm not the only one out here who feels this way!

Sending blessings your way in 2010,
Michelle (The Essence of Ma'at)